life online

I was supposed to watch friends of mine getting married today via the internet. She has been one of my role models since I was 12 and though I haven't known him nearly as long there is something sincere, compassionate, and direct that comes from every conversation I have had with him. They are both such authentic and uplifitng individuals and I was excited when they got engaged a few months ago. My excitement waned a bit, replaced by the sadness that comes with leaving and missing out on the lives of those I love.

They have friends and family everywhere- India, Colombia, California... Virginia. Their wedding and reception was open- no RSVPs, everyone invited to share in this special day. And so they decided to broadcast it, live online.

I am not a fan of facebook, youtube, email, or even blogging- it is necessary and has a lot of potential, but I am a rare user (as most of you already know).

But I was all ready to watch the wedding online, by myself.

Instead I ended up watching a loop of their pre-wedding pictures, walking down the beach. I was wondering when the wedding was going to start- after all it was taking place in Hialeah and a thirty minute delay is still early. And then a text told me that they were already at the altar. All this time there were tweets in english and spanish on the left side that I was trying to ignore. I read through them and everyone was trying to figure out if the wedding had started. So I wrote what I knew. And before I knew it I was chatting away. My sister sent me updates and I posted them. We became our own community, unable to see or share in the wedding but united by our relationships to this couple and our frustration at distance and technology.

I would have preferred to be there, to be sitting in the aisle, hearing her voice break while she gave her vows and to see her tears as she started crying. I would have been crying too, just like my sister.

But there was something unique and interesting about sharing life that way. I think that part of me denies the reality of a virtual life- of the possibility of any authentic life transmitting through cyberspace. That's partly why I'm barely on Facebook and why I barely post. SInce I can't be everywhere I want to be then I'm going to have to really start getting used to this idea of living life online. I will always be old-fashioned, preferring letters to emails and I will not allow technology to live for me but sharing the wedding of people I love and miss with people I don't really know gave me a different sense of community and life that I am not opposed to.